maybe, sometimes

I have been called a "scenester" and a "random melbournian."

I have had one of those bloggers-are-excellent-people experiences.




I have walked along the beach and taken photos of rainclouds and sunshine and jellyfish called Blue Blubbers.



I have finally taken new photos - it's been absolutely forever.

I have survived an apparently dangerous bridge.



I have accidentally executed a random act of kindness which made someone feel really special, when I was only being practical.

I have eaten a "last meal" of cinnamon toast, before trying to behave. I can't have bread or sugar for the next four weeks, so this seemed like the obvious solution. There are people who have expectations of success, which I am determined to live up to.

People have talked about me, but in a good way. They are making me into a reasonably positive person, sort of against my will.

I am all excited about Wednesday night TV.

I've moved to a new office. It looks like this. (I don't have an office office. I have a desk.)



I have the same apartment. It looks like this.



I want to know what, exactly, a "sensible" is, and how it gets out of your body.



I am thinking I might write to some people, to see if maybe they want to have a beer or something to eat when they are in town, because it would be nice to see other Americans, and I forget that it's nice for them to see someone other than each other.

I should probably go on a holiday, sometime sooner, rather than later.

I am thinking maybe I might want to blog again, and maybe I want to bring the meetup back from the dead.

Maybe.

still burning

Friday, the winds changed. They had been blowing in off the bay since the fires started, and though the fires are close, we had seen no sign of them so far. Friday the wind turned and blew into the city from the other direction. It was weird...it was a cool day, and when I went outside, it sort of smelled like late autumn/early winter. In my memory, it was a homey wood-fire smell. Then my brain kicked in and said, "oh. oooooh. I know what that is. A think haze of smoke hangs over the city. I guess it's going to be like this for much of the week.

The worst of it's over, maybe, but now the city's drinking water is under threat.

A coworker's relatives have a dairy farm. They came through okay, but had to milk every day and throw it away because trucks couldn't get through. Some people I'd met in Kinglake are fine. If you stand on their back deck, it looks like nothing happened. If you stand on their front step, you can see where the fire has passed. We had to turn our team into a print shop, and re-make a project in a day. Everything had arrived at the venue in the Yarra Valley on the 6th. It burned to the ground on the 7th.

There is no danger where I am, but everyone is touched by it. Every time you buy groceries, every time you go anywhere, you can donate to the fire fund. And everyone, everywhere does. We're sort of sitting around waiting, trying to figure out how normal people can help.

What happened before this became all anyone thought about? For me, personally?

I saw Ryan Adams, for the first time since Whiskeytown. He was amazing...he played all of my favourite songs...or, once they played the ones I said "if they do _____, I'll die happy" I admit, I'm a sucker for what my friend calls his "sad bastard" songs. They opened with "When the Stars go Blue" and played "Oh My Sweet Carolina," "Come Pick Me Up," "Two," "The Sun Also Sets," and "Wonderwall," as well as "Fix It" which is kind of the only thing I like off the new one.

I think I've ticked everyone off my list now... the "bands I have to see before I die" list. Seriously. I can't think of anyone else, still living. Though...waitaminute...okay, there are more.

I finished boot camp and signed up for another round. It was four punishing weeks, including five days in a row on the final week, due to cancellations during the heatwave. These five days were followed by my regular session with my PT on Saturday, plus my first-ever 5K race on Sunday. I came in 36th out of 143 in my division, and 181 out of 519 overall. Not a bad first-ever effort, I think.

I tried boxing for the first time. I know I looked dumb because my brain had to work much harder than my body did: step with the left foot, rotate the wrist, harder with the right glove because that is my dominant side. The closest I came to causing injury was when I failed to clear my left glove before throwing my right. I nearly hit my trainer in the face by hitting one of my own hands with the other. I suppose he's used to my lack of coordination by now, and I can only hope he's prepared to defend himself.

I am no longer afraid of looking stupid when I learn new things. Well, I think about it, and I do worry, but I do it anyway. I guess that's some sort of progress.

fires

(not my photo)

I'm fine.

The fires were near the city, but not so near that we could even see smoke. I've been to all of those places though...through those towns...on those roads that have burned. The one family who I know live in that direction were evacuated from a town they were visiting, and then nearly from their own homes, but in the end the fire didnt' turn their way.

Everyone I know directly is fine, but I guess I won't know of family of friends, and friends of friends until I go into work today, and see people during this week.

On Friday night I was at boot camp, and we'd had a beach workout day. We ran the stairs for half an hour. Then, since there were just five of us, we let off early and went for a swim in the bay. I was completely and utterly exhausted, physically. We'd made up sessions missed during the heatwave this week, which had meant five days in a row of boot camp. I still had my PT to face on Saturday, and my first ever 5K race on Sunday.

I was standing, waist deep in the water, watching the sun set. We were chatting about nothing in particular. I was thinking about how beautiful the weather was right that second, thinking about how hot it was going to get the next day (45 C on Saturday) and how that would be such a pain. How would I cope without AC? Would the power go out again?

We heard a loud noise, and a giant helicopter came around the edge of the ocean cliff, flying over the ocean. It was bigger than anything I'd ever seen.

"Fire service," someone said, and then we watched it until it had gone out of sight. I realised that I had been holding my breath, and I didn't know why. The mood had changed, and though I could feel it, I didn't fully understand it.

I've never lived in a place where it sometimes doesn't rain for a month a time, where it can get a dry and oven-like 45 degrees, where the strong, hot winds can spread the fire so fast through trees that grow with their own accelerant, that a family's fire plan has to include what they're going to do if they can't get out.

It wasn't until I was inside on Saturday, watching Victoria catch fire and burn, that I began to grasp the enormity of the situation...but even then, safe in the city, I'm sure that I'm lucky that I
can't even begin to really understand.

it is hot.

Dear Winter People,

I wish I was there. Not in a nostagic, wouldn't-snow-be-nice kind of way.

I really, really want to be you. For real.

It is hot here. Brain meltingly, once-in-a-100-years-heatwave hot.

So hot, stuff like this is happening:

(not my photo)

And before you say so...yes, I know there are places which get hotter than this, and for longer stretches of time, but I don't live there.

On purpose.

It's been in the low 40's (105-110 for those of you in the U.S.) for the past few days, and will be for a few days yet. The only previous experience I can liken it to is standing in front of a wood stove or open fireplace...except you are standing on the sidewalk, surrounded but it.

Because it's a dry heat, and not usually this hot, for 99 percent of the summer, evaporative coolers are all that you need. They are useless against this sort of heat. True air conditioning is for offices, public buildings, luxury high rises, and some rooms in some people's homes. The rest of us play the futile these windows open/these shut, shades drawn against the sun game...hoping it will cool down after dark. Only it doesn't. Not really. Not now.